Breaking The Cycle
by FacinelliFan882639s
Summary: 1919: Carlisle has been abused and raped all his life, without one good sexual experience. Edward fears this cycle will continue, but what can he do to stop it? WILL he stop it? SLASH: EDWARD/CARLISLE, EVENTUAL CARLISLE x ESME.
1. Chapter 1

Carlisle's POV

Edward's eyes had just turned a crisp golden color that resembled my own. We were sitting relaxing on the couch, Edward reading and I studying a case paper. I could feel Edward getting restless, and I was gettin slightly irritated with his shifting and 'ritching around'  
"Carlisle?" Edward whispered, as though there was somene he didn't want to disturb in the house, though we were the only ones here.  
"Yes, Edward?"  
"I don't know much about you, but you know alot about me."  
I hesitated, not appreciating where this was going. "Yes....That's true."  
"Will you tell me a bit about yourself? Your thoughts truly interest me, and I'd like to become closer to you. You're very distant."  
"Like...my interests and such?" I left my mind venture what I really wanted to say 'Surely not my past, now'  
"Yes, your past."  
I wanted to throw him out, to beat him senseless. But, then, I reasoned, why shouldn't I have expected him to have this curiosity? It wasn't a bad thing to ask about someone in earnest, was it? I had no idea why, whenever someone asked about my childhood and adolenscence, I was blinded with rage, so I answered. "My past is something I wish not to revisit, thank you."  
"Please, Carlisle? I'm only curious about you."  
"You really want to know what happened?! I was abused and raped by my father since I've been able to remember. Not only my father, his friends as well!" I panted, furious. "But, the abuse didn't stop there, oohhh, no. It NEVER stopped with my father. After I'd wandered around Europe after I'd constructed my theory on surviving on animal blood, I stayed with the Volturi. I thought I would have a refuge there. But, I was a slave to Aro! I was beaten and raped and molested there, too! Until I couldn't take it anymore and left with nothing to my name BUT my name, and I wasn't sure I even had that! But, it still didn't stop, before the time I'd joined Aro and after, I'd been a prostitute to make money to pay for college and the rest of my education to become a doctor. I've had unwilling sex all my life, and I can't stop the cycle!" I chucked my notebook halfway across the room, furious. "What's next?! Domestic violence?! My own WIFE beating the hell out of me everynight until I can't take it?! Until I really DO kill myself?!" I hadn't even realized I was standing, until I kicked the couch I had been sitting on. Edward stood and grabbed me roughly by the shoulders.

"Carlisle! Carlisle, shhh. You're going to give yourself a stroke. Calm down." He cupped a gentle hand on my cheek, still holding my other arm tightly. "Your eyes are black." I slowly calmed down, and sat back down.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so tempermental about a simple question."  
"No, I understand...Carlisle....Are you gay?"  
"I don't know. I told you, I've never had a pleasant experience in which I could decide that fact."  
Edward fell silent. It went on like that for a few moments, then he gently put a hand on my chest. Even though he was a vampire, his hand felt amazingly warm on my skin. Utterly amazing. I felt him nibbling on my collarbone then, and wondered when he had taken my shirt off. My eyes widened. Now that I had confessed this all to him, did he plan on doing the same? Was Edward going to beat and rape me as my father had so many years ago. "I won't if you don't want to." I had forgotten that he could read my thoughts, and shuddered at the tone he was using, and his hot breath on my ear. I panted. "we could try..."  
Edward stood then, and we led each other to the bedroom, both a bit excited and anxious.

At first, it had hurt so bad...and I cried for him to stop. I screamed for him to stop. He did, knowing what he would remind me of if he didn't. "Carlisle, don't be scared, relax. You're too tense, that's why it hurts. If you just trust me..." I felt his hand stroking my back, and I melted under him. He considered this permission to continue, and resumed. It felt amazing after I had relaxed. All I felt was him all around me. All over me. I could feel he loved me. Really loved me.

When we woke up in the morning, Edward had his arms around me, my back to his front. We were spooning. I felt him nuzzle me from behind, and I fidgeted to get closer. "I love you, Edward...Thank you."  
"I love you too, Carlisle."  
"Edward....am I gay...?"  
"I think you're bisexual with an inclination toward women, but you also enjoyed last night, am I wrong?"  
I smiled and turned to him. "No, that's right." I nuzzled him and let him hold me.

Edward's POV, a few months later.

Carlisle had met a beautiful young girl at the hospital. She was a nurse who had just happened to be a vampire. She was tall, almost as tall as Carlisle, with shoulder length brunette hair and bright red lips. She was a thin, lovely girl, who had seemed perfect at first. She and Carlisel had gotten married, after Carlisle had asked my permission. But, ever since the honeymoon, things had gone downhill. Scarlett was an abusive witch who punished Carlisle for everything he did. Tonight, Carlisle had come home with nothing to eat. He had asked Scarlett if he could go out to hunt, and she flew off the handle. She, too, had needed to hunt, and she was aggitated. She had taken Carlisle upstairs immediately, and all I had heard was screaming. I saw Scarlett storm out the door, and ran up to Carlisle. This is what happened every time. She beat Carlisle, then went out to see how many boyfriends she could find. Carlisle was lying on the bed, curled up, sobbing and shaking. Scarlett had hacked most of his hair off, and the clippings were all over the bed. He was naked, and almost totally black and blue. I gently stroked his arm, and he startled, screaming out. I pulled him close to me. "Carlisle, it's me....don't be scared, it's only me." Usually, he calmed down after a few minutes of me holding him, but he just continued to shake and cry. "Carlisle, love, it's okay. I'm right h-" it dawned on me then, why he was so shaken up. "She RAPED you, didn't she?!" I grabbed his arm. "She RAPED YOU! OH MY GOD...SHE RAPED YOU. SHE RAPED YOU." the bed was bloodstained, and he didn't have any visible cuts, except for the whipping wounds, which had been inflicted elsewhere, where there were more bloodstains. "LET ME SEE. LET ME SEE WHERE SHE HURT YOU." I flipped him on his back, and parted his legs to look.

"EDWARD! STOP! YOUR HURTING ME! STOP! EDWARD!" Carlisle screamed. I snapped out of my furious stupor and looked at him. He was crying, shaking, and absolutely terrified. "Stop...." I gently placed a hand on his sides, and listened to him cry out, expecting me to hurt him.

"Shhhhh, it's okay. I'm so sorry, Sweetheart. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm just very angry that she would to that to you. It's okay. I won't hurt you. Calm down, carlisle. You're going to make yourself pass out or worse." I put my hand on his chest, gently, and he seemed to calm a bit. "There. See? Do you want to wash off?" He nodded, and i helped him to the bathroom. It looked like someone had slaughtered a cow in there. Blood was all over the floor and walls, and Carlisle had vomited in the sink. He quivered a little when we entered.

"I...i...i..i'm s...sorry..."

I wrapped my arms around him, strong and firm. "Sorry for what, sweetheart? You were shaken up and scared, so you were sick. That's ok! And the blood, I can clean it up." i drew water for him in the tub, and helped him in. He was still really tense. I cleaned up the blood and vomit from the sink, and watched him. He hadn't budged, and just sat in the tub, curled into a fetal position, crying. "Hey, sweetie." I stroked his back. "Do you want me to wash you? Is that why you waited?" He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah? Ok. Lie back for me, ok?" He did, but his legs were close together, and raised slightly from the bottom of the tub, like he was sitting on a chair. "Relax, sweetheart. I'm here." I stripped down and stood him up, turning the shower on. He still shook and tried to cling to me. "Carlisle, i'm here for you, baby, but you know what? You need to do this for yourself. Wash her off, carlisle." carlisle looked bewildered. "Wash her off. Wash her scent off, wash her slime off, WASH. HER. OFF." He started sobbing again, but washed himself off. "Feel better, sweetheart?" He shook his head, sobbing. "what else do you need, baby?"

He fisted his hands and pounded on my shoulders a few times, saying, "TOUCH ME, DAMMIT! JUST TOUCH ME! KISS ME, SOMETHING! JUST TOUCH ME, DAMMIT!" he sobbed, and I was stunned. I had touched him...but not in a very comforting way. I realized how much of a monster I had been. Not even touching the poor man who had just been raped. Not making any effort to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry..." I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to my chest, the hot water still pouring from the shower.

"That's why I wanted you to wash me! I just...wanted...you..to touch me!" He sobbed, clinging to me. "Shhhhh, shhhhhhhhh....baby, let me get you out of here, and I can hold you, okay? I'll hold you all night and never let you go. I promise. And it'll be all okay." I helped him out, grabbed a few towels and walked him to the bedroom. I lay a towel down on the bed and sat him down. "i'm going to dry you off and take care of you, okay?" he nodded, and let me dry him from head to toe, and wrap his wounds without making a sound.  
"...Edward?..."  
"Yes?"  
"Will you....claim me again...? like you did before?"  
"sweetie, you're cut up bad there. I don't want to hurt you." I wrapped my arms around him tightly, and even wrapped my legs around his. "Edward...?"  
"Yes?"  
"I love you."  
"I love you too, honey."


	2. Chapter 2

Edward's POV

Carlisle was never the same after that. He was very clingy and scared, never wanting to leave me. Scarlett pushed me over the edge, and I couldn't take it. One night, I took her outside and simply ripped her apart, a fire already prepared. Carlisle was shocked, but he wasn't grieving. Scarlett had left him with more scars, and they were starting to become too much. He was always in pain from past-inflicted scars, or fresh scars that hadn't healed. His joints always hurt, especially in the cold days. Although, his hair was growing back, and he was getting better, since the scars had stopped being inflicted and the others had time to heal. I obsess over his hair, so i'll fuss on that a bit more: Scarlett had made it so short I couldn't even run my fingers through it. But, now, a few weeks later, maybe a month, it was about an inch longer, but he still had to grow it out a bit more for it to be his normal length. I begged for him to grow it out long, but he refused, chuckling and saying he's done that before, way back when.

Carlisle came in after work, and dropped all of his things in the doorway. "Hello, sweetheart."  
"Hi."  
"I have a little surprise for you."  
"O...ok"  
"don't worry, it's a good one. I promise." I took his hand and led him upstairs, where I had a few candles lit and the lights dimmed. He turned to me and smiled. "what's the occasion?"  
"Celebrating the stop of your abuse. No more, Carlisle. no more." I stroked his cheek. "Now, strip down for me, and lie down on your stomach." he did, and it was almost painfully sexy. He lie down, and waited, patient. I rubbed the warm oil on my hands and started to rub him down. He moaned as I kneeded his tight muscles, whimpering in pleasure when I too stripped, and he could feel my warmth against him. "See? this is what you deserve. None of the pain, just this. And better than this. I love you."  
"I love you, too."  
"may I claim you? If I'm gentle?"  
"Please...?"  
"I got a little something to make it a little easier on you." I pulled out the gel, and he smirked slightly. I put some on my fingers, and applied it, listening to him moan as I did. I started, then, and he gasped, totally submissive to me. "Edward...."  
I went as fast as I could, until I made him scream my name. I flipped him on his back and finished the pleasure with my mouth, listenin o him gasp as I took him in. leaving him still moaning and arching his back for more. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him. "Carlisle, im done."  
He panted. "Please...w..will you r...rub my back some more? I..I like the f..feeling o...of you a..all over me...."  
"Sure, Carlisle. I sure can." I re-heated the oil so it was hot instead of just warm, and started rubbing him down again. He broke into a loud purr that I couldn't help but smile at. It was one of those sounds that just...make you get goosebumps and that fuzzy feeling deep in your core. "Thank you..." He whimpered.

Only about another month later, Carlisle came into the house, his eyes wide with fear.  
"Carlisle, what happened? Carlisle!" I supported him, putting a hand on his sides. "Edward.... I...I had to change her, Edward.....she was so beautiful, a...and she was dying....a..and I'd met her before, Edward! I'd met her before! They were going to bury her, Edward! Her heart was still beating and they were going to bury her!" Tears were streaking down his face, and he was shaking.  
"carlisle, Carlisle, Shh. Where is she?"  
"In the car."  
"Okay, let me go get her. Okay? It's okay, Carlisle. You didn't do anything wrong."  
He nodded, and I ran out to get her. She was terribly beaten, but the venom was healing her bones and bruises. She was absolutely beautiful, though. Her long carmel-colored hair sweeped down past her shoulders and her face was so soft and beautiful. I lie her down in Carlisle and I's bed, and was startled when I turned around and saw Carlisle standing in the doorway. "Hey, sweetheart." "She'll be my mate...I....I can feel it." "Hmm?"  
"She'll be my real mate, Edward....I can feel it...." he smiled, the first time I'd seen real light in his eyes. "I'm happy for you, carlisle."  
"B...but I won't leave you, Edward...I'd never leave you, a...and one day, you'll find your mate, too! I...I know you will! I promise, Edward." "Carlisle," I chuckled. "Calm down. I know. I knew you weren't going to be my lover forever, and I knew I wasn't going to be yours. Neither of us are gay, Carlisle. We're bisexual, with an inclination toward women."  
He nodded, and settled in a seat close to the new vampire.  
"What's her name?"  
"Esme Anne Platt..."  
THREE DAYS LATER Esme startled awake, terrified. carlisle automatically stroked her shoulder comfortingly. "Esme....It's okay."  
At first she shrieked in fear, but when she realized who he was, she calmed. "D...Dr. Cullen...."  
He nodded, and she gently reached out to stroke his cheek. At first he startled, and almost pulled away, but something inside him wouldn't let him move. He leaned in to her touch, purring. "You're very...soft...but I can tell your strong."  
He smiled softly. "Thank you."  
They talked for a while, telling each other of their past. "So....you DO understand me...Dr. Cullen."  
"Carlisle, please, and...yes, I do..."  
she gently stroked his face again. "You're a very sweet man, Dr....Carlisle."  
He smiled warmly. "Thank you, and....you can't imagine how that feels."  
"Thank you, Dr. Cullen."

CARLISLE'S POV

Only a few weeks after I'd met Esme, we were very close to each other, and planning our wedding.  
"Carlisle?" She took my hand and looked into my eyes. I could tell she was serious.  
"Yes, Esme?"  
"Can we..mate? The vampire way? it seems like it's a stonger bond than just marriage, and I want us to be as strong together as possible.."  
"Well...s..sure...I..."  
"I know you've been raped. I know you've been abused. I want to show you the alternative to that." She stroked my face again. She knew I loved it when she did that. "Please, let me show you, Carlisle."  
"Why, Of course, love." I stroked her hair. "How do we do it?"  
She smiled, devilish. "We do everything there is. HJ, BJ, normal, partner grooming..."  
"Sure. That sounds...nice."  
"Wanna do it now?"  
She was so beautiful, and the tone she was using....I couldn't resist...I smirked. "why not~?"  
She dragged me into the bathroom, evidently I wasn't fast enough for her, and stripped me down, almost stripping herself at the same time. when she looked up, though, she gasped. "oh my god....carlisle...."  
"w....what?"  
"Your SCARS...."  
I blushed furiously, and grabbed for anything that would cover them...a towel, a blanket, the shower curtain...anything, but I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder. "H...h?"  
"Carlisle, don't be ashamed. I know what you've been through. Your scars don't change who you are, they MAKE you who you are, with what you've been through. I don't see you differently, perhaps stronger."  
I wrapped my arms around her, and slid my hands down her back. "Thank you.."  
She tilted her head back and moaned, but she broke away from me and started the water in the tub. When she stood up, she ran her hands down my sides, down my hips, down my thighs until I was moaning unconsciously.  
"You're going to enjoy this, I promise." She stepped into the tub, allowing me to follow.  
"Who's first...?"  
"You, so you know what we're doing. Sit in my lap." I did, and I watched as she took a razor from the side of the tub. She rubbed shaving cream all over my lower part, making me moan unconsciously again. She started, then, and I was fine at first, but the deeper she got, the more sensitive my skin was there, and I started to panic. She tried to hold me still, but she couldn't, and I felt her warm hand on my stomach, her other on my chest. "Carlisle, calm down. I won't hurt you. it's okay. Just relax, and trust me."  
I took a few deep breathes. "I'm sorry...."  
she whispered, nibbling on my ear lobe. "Don't be sorry~" she continued then, and I lost it, moaning loudly and arching my back. After a while, she flipped me around and sat in my lap. "My turn."  
I shaved her, listening to her moan and feeling her arch her back against me. I kissed up her neck, and she moaned louder, grabbing me by my hair.

She led me into the bedroom, then, and flung me down on the bed, my waist hanging over. Without hesitation, I felt her warm mouth, and I growled slightly in pleasure, thought it was nothing compared to what I was feeling, and let her take over.

She didn't even stop there, even. After she swallowed, she moved up and wrapped her hand around me, pounding and stroking and thrusting. I couldn't take it, I just screamed in pleasure.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur of pleasure and...ecstasy. She nipped up my body from my waist to my chest, gently nibbling on my nipples and my neck, her hands sweeping down my sides and my chest and my stomach, venturing a bit lower on occasion. Never in my life had I been touched like that. It was. AMAZING. Every moment was full of pleasure....was i repeating myself now?...I just....it was too, too amazing. I lie beside her, both of us panting. "that was..."  
"Amazing." we held each other the rest of the night, knowing that we were going to love each other for eternity. No abuse, no fear. LOVE.


End file.
